Chasing Demons
by Orokid
Summary: Shizuma has always either chased the demons in her life, or is chased by the one she can't forget. Set soon after Kaori's death.


**SincereHeartache****: **_To tell the truth, this story means a little more than I would admit to. Almost a year ago, I had lost my girlfriend to a man with a rifle in his car, and so my own woe has lead me to know just how much Shizuma may have suffered after losing Kaori. This story, in the meantime, has that particular theme- Shizuma having lost the woman she adored, and… well, you can read and figure it out. _

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing that has to do with Strawberry Panic! or the characters. Those belong to the author and illustrator, as well as the companies that bought the right to distribute the manga, light novels, etc. This story was written for fun and not for profit._

_How you enjoy!!_

**Chasing Demons**

The bright yet sorrow filled moon lit confines of the lonely little apartment room, shadowing and adding small textures to the furniture in the blue light that filtered in. On top of the bed was a hunched over figure, silver hair spread over her back with a bottle in her hands. With her knees pressed against her chest, the young woman looked like the epitome of a lovelorn lover with dull eyes gazing out from just above her crossed arms.

They had all returned to her, chasing her as she attempted to run away from the things that had been haunting her heart and soul for days… maybe even weeks. She couldn't quite remember how long she had holed herself in that room, refusing to leave until the things she loved yet feared let her be.

Outside the door, she heard the usual gentle tapping of heels against the linoleum floors of the dormitory halls. With each and every clap, she felt the world around her shift, biting into her being without much if an effort as memories attacked her relentlessly. There at the other end of the room was a young girl, black hair brushing against her cheek as she leaned down to buckle the school's shoes onto her feet. Slowly, the girl's head turned to gaze straight at her, offering that quiet yet carefree smile that only she could wear. With a whisper in the wind, the girl's lips had opened, and the young woman could hear it as clear as a bell. _"Shizuma-oneesama." _The girl soon disappeared into the moonlight, taking with her what happiness she might've felt, damning her to Hell for what she knew would be an eternity.

That girl from her past, a memory that remained animated by her mind, was nothing more than a demon to her now that refused to let her go.

Through the whispers of memories and the smoky illusions of the heart, she gazed longingly at a frame on the desk that remained across from the bed. The sullen moonlight drifted across the oak wood frame, the gloom almost overshadowing the joy of the two in the photo. She had been holding the girl, laughing and loving so freely in a time when terror and heartache didn't even know their name. It had been a moment of such joy that she had once doubted that any one person could ever feel such sadness- and yet there she was, left out on the cub like a small pet in the rain. And she was alone, left to wallow in her pain and loss.

Yet, in all truths, she wasn't as alone as she thought, haunted by the memories of a life and love that felt so far away now.

As the woman clutched to her knees, ever closer to herself, she thought back to her life before the demons that continued to chase her so. In the small bedroom, the woman could smell the perfume that lingered behind. Memories once more stirred within her mind, and she watched somberly as they began to replay endlessly, shadows casting themselves on the walls. Emerald eyes looked over her crossed arms, and her heart began to ache painfully within her chest as she took in the sight of the woman that continued to haunt her, taking in the innocent smile and the satisfied gaze.

"_Shizuma-sama…"_

Once more, she was nothing more than a wisp of smoke, disappearing in the late hours of the night as a soft breeze blew through the room. Her own name was like a broken record, playing like a melancholy tune that remained after a piano had finished playing, the singer a person who was no longer able to croon her words like a lovebird to the moon. In the end, she was the other half of that beautiful bird, slowly fading with life force from the loneliness that came after losing the one who had made her feel complete for the first time in her life.

The world was a cruel place without the one that she had lost, and yet she was alone, left to her own devices as the world twirled on, uncaring. And the angel that she adored had become nothing more than a demon

"Shizuma-chan," a soft voice spoke from behind the door, and she could recall within her mind that it was not her lost lover who called but another who had always held a soft spot within her heart and mind. Yet no matter how much she may have wished it, the young woman was nothing like her, the one she desired to see, to hold, to love, and could never replace that feeling that she enticed from her soul. A part of her wondered if anyone ever could. "Shizuma." The woman's voice was softer, filled with the emotion that had once filled the beautiful, aristocratic young woman who now could only mourn. "Open the door. Please."

Inhaling deeply, the tall, lonely Etoilé unraveled herself from her closed position, attempting to take the look of strength when she knew that it was nothing more than a lie. She had to speak nothing less than one with either words or actions while she was before others, even if they could see the ache and pain that she was going through by the absence of the girl who had always been around her. With soft careful steps, she made her way to the door, opening it only a sliver to see into the eyes of the one that stood just outside. "Miyuki-chan?" There was a painted smile on her face that very few could possibly see through, an effort valiant enough to win an award and ease the hearts of those who might worry about her, although she knew that the effort had been wasted upon the woman.

Miyuki placed her hand bravely against the door, pushing lightly and yet firmly at it until the beautiful young lady allowed her entrance. Still, with the door wide open, she did not dare walk inside, her eyes gazing deeply into the emeralds that sparkled woefully behind the mask that she wore. "Shizuma, I…" Words were lost upon the girl, unknowing what to say for one of the few times she could admit to in her life. There were too many things that she could tell, too many verbal expressions that would be no where near the amount of pain the other felt. "Kaori-chan, she…"

Kaori-chan. The dead girl's name evoked the shadowed images that continued to torture her heart and mind, and she could no longer see the one who had come to say the words that many others had come to say- only the whispered memory of the one who was lost forever.

Slowly, the lonely Etoile moved toward her friend, bringing her into her arms for a gentle yet firm hug. Her head buried itself into the crook of the short haired girl's neck, hoping to find solace where she could find none. Softly, she wished words that she knew would never be spoken aloud to another- "Her demon is still here, chasing me."

Slowly, the others hands wrapped around the beauty's slim waist, hugging her tightly in a way that no woman should embrace another while in the eyes of the public. A quiet understanding moved between them, and nothing more was said as the beautiful duo moved into the room filled with memories and closed the door behind them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**SincereHeartache**:_ I had been listening to a song by Kenny Chesney ("Demons") which is about how several of life's vices follow after the singer if he's not going after them. Eventually, I ended up thinking… well, what if it's just one person who carries each of the qualities that can haunt a person? I soon began to think about Shizuma and Kaori's ill-fated romance, and how Shizuma, while awesome and beautiful in her own right, was still completely infatuated with her lost lover even after Kaori's life had been ended. While Nagisa is the ultimate form of curing the woman of her loneliness, one has to imagine how long she must have yearned for the one she had lost. You can probably see where my life experiences come into play…_

_Anyway-_

_If you have any questions, or if you would like to bring up a point in the story that I may have missed or mixed up- OR if you like it and want to review it- please click on the review button and let me know. I'm up for just about anything, and I would love whatever you have to say. Thank you for reading, and I hope the rest of your day is kind to you._


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